Friday, April 25, 2008

Say the Right Thing

For several years after my divorce, I bothered a lot of people by complaining about my ex-husband, telling tales of my difficulties and unhappiness. They were more patient than I deserved, but I’m sure they dreaded hearing it and wished I would get off it.

It was not until my therapist responded to my pain that I began to heal. He simply said, “I’m so sorry.”

I’ve noticed that, when some people think they need to say something and don’t know what to say, they open their mouths and say the wrong thing. This is especially true when someone has died. It doesn’t help to say, “Well, he’s in a better place,” “Look, you had your Daddy a long time,” or worse, yet, “It’s God will.” It’s better to say, simply, “I’m so sorry” or “What can I do to help?” Even better, go to the kitchen and wash dishes, bring food and sweep the porch.

Very often, when we don’t know what to say, it’s better to keep quiet than to say the wrong thing.

Love and blessings,
Peggy Grose

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